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 Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott

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MessageSujet: Erotic News   Lun 23 Oct à 2:25

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MessageSujet: Leather Skirt   Lun 23 Oct à 6:59

A nice looking woman wearing a very tight leather skirt was standing in line to board a bus in Houston Texas. When her turn came to get on the bus she went to step up but her skirt was too tight and she could not. She smiled at the bus driver and reached behind her to unzip her skirt just a little to give her enough movement to step up onto the platform. She tried a second time and still her skirt was too tight, so again she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more. When she stepped up the third time she still could not reach the step do to her tight skirt. So smiling at the bus driver again she reached behind her for the third time and lowered her zipper even more. It was no use. Her skirt was still too tight to give her enough legroom to step up.
All at once the big burly Texan behind her gently grabbed her around the waist and lifted her onto the bus platform. The woman whirled around in a rage. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME LIKE THAT! We don't even know each other!"
The Texan smiled and said, "Well mam, normally I'd say the same thing. But I thought we were at least friends after the third time you reached behind you and unzipped my fly!"

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MessageSujet: The Weather Girl   Lun 23 Oct à 7:43

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a

very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely

think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true

story...We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was

supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and

asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too

Sting ..have you ever work as a weatherman ???

they were laughing so hard

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MessageSujet: Best Web Hosting   Lun 23 Oct à 14:27

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MessageSujet: Download powerful soft for advertising in internet   Lun 23 Oct à 21:29

Anybody knows url's to download private program for advertising internet-projects?
It's really important to me. Please, help.


P.S. Also I need for advertising programs that can break CAPTHA's, can mass posting, can sort sites by Google PageRank (PR) and others. By the way, I'm interested in any scripts to work whith Google AdSense, Google AdWords.
P.P.S. Sorry for my post in this category.
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MessageSujet: love spells love spell   Mar 24 Oct à 18:10

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MessageSujet: Confession..   Mar 24 Oct à 23:30

Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they're trying to one-up each other. The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.
Young woman number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have many material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that fourteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."
After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make: I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my folks' house in Terre Haute for two weeks."
The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes; it's a Plymouth."
"Well, I've got a confession to make myself: Canary number fourteen has to stand on one leg."

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MessageSujet: Flight Attendent   Mer 25 Oct à 4:54

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,

"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch."

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MessageSujet: I like the way you think   Mer 25 Oct à 5:08

Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked, 'Three birds are sitting on a telephone wire, a hunter shoots one. How many are left?'
'None,' he says 'if ones shot the others would fly away.'
'Actually', said the teacher 'the answer was two, but I like the way you think.'
The next day Johnny walks over to his teacher in the cafeteria and asks, 'Do you see those three women over there on the bench? Which one isn't married, the one eating the cookie, the one eating a sandwich, or the one sucking on a popsicle?'
'Hmm, the one sucking on a popsicle?', the teacher asks.

'Actually' said Timmy 'it was the one without a wedding ring, but I like the way you think.'

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MessageSujet: Wrong Woman   Mer 25 Oct à 5:24

A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar, he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Holy crap," he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?"

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher

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MessageSujet: Sliding tricks   Ven 27 Oct à 7:09

John and Jenifer were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress,
taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever
so slowly sliding down his chair under the table while Jenifer acted
unconcerned. Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair
and out of sight under the table. Still, Jenifer appeared calm and unruffled,
apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and
said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid
under the table."

The woman calmly looked up and replied firmly, "Oh, no. He did not. In fact,
he just walked in the front door."

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MessageSujet: Balloons   Ven 27 Oct à 9:06

A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it, as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center. Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet. Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she is finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She is not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything. When he arrives, she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of to
uches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and Shit is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart!"

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MessageSujet: Girl Who Screws Anyone   Ven 27 Oct à 13:34

Girl Who Screws Anyone

A man walked into a tavern and sat next to a very attractive, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. "Hi there, Good Looking. How's it going?" he asked.
The woman looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of
college, and I just love it!"
"No kidding?," said the man, "I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"

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MessageSujet: fast excuse   Dim 29 Oct à 4:27

Fast Escape Excuse
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.

The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."

The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her bac

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MessageSujet: Everything is Automatic.   Dim 29 Oct à 14:08

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MessageSujet: voodoo spells   Dim 29 Oct à 18:55

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MessageSujet: All about debt consolidation. Information about debt consoli   Dim 29 Oct à 23:13

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MessageSujet: little johnny   Lun 30 Oct à 5:24

Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull foreskin back
4. Pee
5. Push foreskin forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did good.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...

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MessageSujet: Five tips for a woman..   Lun 30 Oct à 7:18

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

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MessageSujet: It just keeps on growing   Lun 30 Oct à 10:12

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word ’penis’ in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word ’penis’ again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson. Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day’s word, larger than the previous day’s word.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"

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MessageSujet: built like a baby   Mar 31 Oct à 2:51

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room.
When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess. The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell me."

So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat chested.

The husband says, "I can deal with that."

He takes off her shirt and shouts, "Boy! you are small, but I love you nyway."

The husband says, "I have something to confess also."

She says, "No matter what I will still love you."

He says, "Okay.I am built like a baby down there."

She says, "I can deal with that."

So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she finally gets up.

She says, "I thought you said you were built like a baby?"

He says, "Yeah....7lbs, 21inches."

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MessageSujet: Re: Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott   

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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott
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