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 Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott

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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: My husband passed away   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyDim 12 Nov à 8:39

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "

She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'

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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: who is the greatest ?   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyDim 12 Nov à 9:17

A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day
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Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics"

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks
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With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who
introduced
it to women."

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MessageSujet: Xmas again soon   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyLun 13 Nov à 0:48

Ok so we hurtle towards xmas and my 11 year old daughter asks "daddy what do you want for xmas". For the first time in my life i couldnt think what I wanted! Now is that weird or what what are the alternatives?
I guess it is either a sign of contentment or a sign I am loosing the plot and am incapable of being creative enough to come up with ideas. Guess it will be socks and scarves again. Good site- I have book marked it. rgds
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MessageSujet: Online Poker Status for Everyone   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyLun 13 Nov à 6:00

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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: Taxes   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyLun 13 Nov à 9:38

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs
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file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask
you a few
questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and
then
asks, "What is your occupation?"

"I'm a whore," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, "No, No, No, that won't
work.
Let's try to rephrase that"

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an chicken
farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a
prostitute?"

"Well, I raised hundred's of little pecker's last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is." Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy


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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: 2 men on a bus   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyLun 13 Nov à 9:48

Two Men On A Bus

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention focuses on their conversation when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come once-a-more."
"You foul-mouthed swine!" hissed the indignant lady. "In this country, we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"



"Hey coola down lady!" said the man. "Imma just tellun my afriend howa to spella Mississippi."


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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: Xmas again soon   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyMar 14 Nov à 3:50

Ok so we hurtle towards xmas and my 11 year old daughter asks "daddy what do you want for xmas". For the first time in my life i couldnt think what I wanted! Now is that weird or what ,one year someone bought me roadside assistance package ! and i did'nt have a car at the time!
I guess it is either a sign of contentment or a sign I am loosing the plot and am incapable of being creative enough to come up with ideas. Guess it will be socks and scarves again. Good site- I have book marked it.
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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: I wanted that for such a long time   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyMar 14 Nov à 5:02

Its that time of year again !!!
Has anyone got some good Christmas Decorating Ideas
I guess it is either a sign of contentment or a sign I am loosing the plot and am incapable of being creative enough to come up with ideas. Guess it will be socks and scarves again. Good site- I have book marked it. rgds
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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: Life Support   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyMar 14 Nov à 7:44

While watching the Cricket the other night my wife and I were discussing life and death.
I told her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and relying on fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She promptly got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

Some days I hate being married to a smart bitch.


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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: English Punctuation   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyMar 14 Nov à 11:15

An English professor wrote on the blackboard:

"A woman without her man is nothing"

and asked the class to properly punctuate the sentence.

All the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing"

All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing"

Punctuation is powerful ! Smile


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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: Who's Smarter   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyMar 14 Nov à 11:15

Hello

One night at the singles bar....

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his
sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one
evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had everseen.Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three
days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much smarter than men..


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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: Jack's telephone number   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyMar 14 Nov à 11:42

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Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"


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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: What about FSBO?   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 EmptyMar 14 Nov à 12:42

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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty
MessageSujet: Re: Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott   Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott - Page 6 Empty

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