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 Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott

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RichardS
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MessageSujet: Thanks but no thanks   Mar 7 Nov à 3:31

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MessageSujet: Education or Not   Mar 7 Nov à 3:41

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MessageSujet: I like this forum already   Mar 7 Nov à 20:23

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MessageSujet: Cigarettes and Tampons   Mer 8 Nov à 9:39

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
To get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
And some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo–oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... So does she.


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MessageSujet: Need advice about loan   Mer 8 Nov à 11:12

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MessageSujet: to FloridaThank you for allowing me to join the forum   Mer 8 Nov à 14:21

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MessageSujet: Repair bad credit ...|Credit Repair...|Bad Credit Mortgages|   Mer 8 Nov à 15:17

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MessageSujet: The drunks   Mer 8 Nov à 21:57

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.

The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging out of his fly.

He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out..........

"Holy shit ----- My girlfriend's gone too!"


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MessageSujet: Used Car   Mer 8 Nov à 23:07

Used Car


It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies
Sitting in a used car.!
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car.
Were they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away."
"We can't drive."
"Then why did you buy it?"
"We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed .... So
We're just waiting.


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HarryWol
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MessageSujet: Smith?   Jeu 9 Nov à 1:01

There was a lady who was unhappy with her boobs, she wanted bigger ones.
She went to Dr. Smith and he told her, "After you wake up in the morning, rub your boobs and say Scoobie Doobie Doobies,
I Want Bigger Boobies!" And you’ll have bigger boobs in no time.
The woman does this for about a month, and she is so impressed, she has lovely D cups now!
One day, on her way to work on the bus, she realizes she has forgotton her morning ritual, worried that she might lose her lovely D’s,
she stands right there in the middle of the bus and says while rubbing her boobs "Scoobie Doobie Doobies, I Want Bigger Boobies!"
A man sitting close to her reaches up and tugs on her sleeve. "Yes?" replies the woman. "Are you by any chance a patient of Dr. Smith?"
The man says. "Yes, but how did you know?" says the woman.
The man leans closer, winks and says "Hickary Dickary Dock......"

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MessageSujet: Moving truck company   Jeu 9 Nov à 5:01

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MessageSujet: Obsession   Jeu 9 Nov à 21:58

Obsession

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children... "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."


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MessageSujet: Buy viagra   Ven 10 Nov à 2:36

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MessageSujet: Surgery mix-up   Ven 10 Nov à 7:56

A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the
procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.

"Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I'm afraid
there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change
operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis."

"What!" gasps the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another
erection?"

"Oh, you might," the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours."


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GarsonVI
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MessageSujet: Fluffy the rabbit   Ven 10 Nov à 10:12

Hello

A woman walks into a vet's waiting room, dragging a wet rabbit on a leash.
"Sit, Fluffy," she says.

Fluffy glares at her and then the soaking-wet rabbit jumps up on another customer's lap, getting water all over him.

"I said sit, Fluffy!" the woman shouts. "Don't you want to be a good little rabbit?"

Apparently not, because Fluffy, still wet, jumps onto the floor shakes furiously, spraying water on everyone and then proceeds to squat and urinate, right there in the middle of the room.

"Fluffy!" the woman screams, and then, mortified by Fluffy's behavior, she turns to the other people in the room and says, "Please forgive me, I've just washed my hare and I can't get it to do anything!"


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MessageSujet: Protonix   Ven 10 Nov à 10:51

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MessageSujet: Some info loan related   Ven 10 Nov à 21:59

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MessageSujet: Everything is Automatic.   Sam 11 Nov à 5:22

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MessageSujet: In the classroom   Sam 11 Nov à 11:24

Hello

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word ’penis’ in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word ’penis’ again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson. Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day’s word, larger than the previous day’s word.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"


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MessageSujet: Re: Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott   

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Tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott
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