Ted Nugent, Sammy Hagar, et Michael Anthony, le bassiste de Van Halen, participeront à une exposition d’art organisé à la mémoire de « Dimebag » Darrell Abbott, le regretté guitariste de Pantera. Le « Dimebag Darrell Art Tribute » proposera plus de 50 guitares peintes à la main par de nombreuses stars du rock. L’exposition itinérante débutera ce week-end à Anaheim en Californie

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A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.

He thought to himself, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.

"Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."

"Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly...
"My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"


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Bye to everyone!

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I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, ‘Come on buddy, howabout giving a guy a break?’ He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So I called him a horse shit.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn’t give a damn. My car was parked around the corner…

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A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out.

"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"

The professor stared at the student without saying a word.

"Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."


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A frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a glass of wine. The frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well.
The frenchie asks the landlord, "What is that dirty camel doing in here?"

The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure.

The Landlord looks at the frenchie and says "You want a go?" to which the frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the head."


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Did you hear about the guy from Arkansas that went up north on vacation? Being a regular churchgoer, Sunday morning found him visiting in a nice big church in Maine. His first impression was of how quiet and subdued the service was.
At one point during the sermon, the preacher said something the Arkansan really agreed with. "Amen!" agreed the visitor loudly.

As the entire church turned to stare, the usher ran up to the Arkansan. "Shhhhhh....." he said sternly. "You can't speak out like that here."

"But I've got religion," the visitor explained.

"Fine!" said the usher. "But you didn't get it here."


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Did you know?The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in St. Tammany, Jefferson & Orleans Parish.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators unexpectedly. They also advise the carrying of "pepper spray" in case of a 'gator encounter.

It's also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity and be able to recognize the difference between young alligator and adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are small, contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.

Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.


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school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all.

On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

Discipline was not a problem from that day forth!


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An old man was walking in the forest when he heard by his feet a very weak voice.
He bent down to look and saw that the voice came from a little frog:
"I'm a beautiful, erotic and sensual princess, skilled in all the carnal pleasures of love.
An evil queen, envious of my charms, turned me into a frog, but if you kiss me I will once again be a fair maiden,
and I will provide you with all the joys and delights of my voluptuous temperament and my ardent lust.
The old man picked up the little frog and put her into his pocket. Bewildered, the frog looked out and asked:
"What, you're not going to kiss me?" "Nope," replied the old man.
"At my age it's more fun to have a talking frog than a sex maniac


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A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured by inserting a suppository up his anal passage. The man agrees, and so the doctor warns him of the pain, tells him to bend over and shoves the thing way up his tunnel of turds. The doctor then hands him a second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours.

So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds that he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. He calls his wife over and tells her what to do.

The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home. Suddenly the man screams, "DAMN!"

"What's the matter?" asked the wife, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," replies the man, "but I just realized that when the doctor did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders."


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A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and
said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to
lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most
beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to
shine his shoes.
The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some
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She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that."
The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you
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She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."


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